Les Poissons (Huckleberry Hound version)
Inside the dining room table, Flynn was standing near the window, looking out into the distance. While the Genie was seated at the large table, beginning to clean his pipe, Flynn was waiting patiently for Rapunzel to arrive as he tried desperately to reason with the guy. "Oh, Eugene, be reasonable," said the Genie, feeling clearly amused while waving his pipe in the air. "Nice young ladies just don't - swim around rescuing people in the middle of the ocean and then - flutter off into oblivion, like some -" Flynn cut him off. "I'm tellin' you, Genie, she was REAL!" he said, "I'm gonna find that girl. And I'm gonna marry her." He put his left hand over his chin, gazing out the glass windows. Suddenly, laughter was heard from behind him. He turned his head to see the lover with the waitress. "Come on, honey." said a voice, "Don't be shy." It was Jasmine. She stood by the door frame, guiding the lover into the dining room. Out of the shadows came Rapunzel. Rapunzel was now wearing a purple Indian dress (similar to Pocahontas' dress), a matching beaded necklace, and lavender ballet slippers. This was a new look for Rapunzel, and she showed that she was being treated well by the servants. Rapunzel's eyes widened as the Genie walked up behind the guy. "Oh, Eugene, isn't she a vision?" asked the Genie. The grin he had was never slipping off his face. Flynn's mouth hung open. But he closed his mouth and swallowed, feeling somewhat nervous. "You look - wonderful." Flynn stammered. Rapunzel, unable to say, "Thank you," replied with a gentle blush, she shrugged her shoulders, appreciating the nice comment, a smile on her face as her green eyes looked up from behind her blonde hair. Flynn blushed a light pink as the Genie helped Flynn into his chair, quite enthusiastic, but not before giving the young princess a light nudge. Flynn pursed his lips, but grinned nonetheless. "Come come come, you must be famished. Let me help you my dear. There we go - ah - quite comfy?" He helped the princess into her seat. Flynn tucked the chair under the table as the German girl sat down. "Uh, it's...it's not often that we have such a lovely dinner guest, eh, Eugene?" Rapunzel wasn't playing attention anymore. She was too intrigued by the glistening silver 'dinglehopper' resting on the table. With a wide smile, she picked up the shiny object and began brushing her hair with it. She looked up to face a confused Flynn and a horrified Genie. Rapunzel delicately placed the 'dinglehopper' back on the table and looked down in embarrassment. She bit her lip and looked up as she saw the Genie using a lighter to ignite the coppery thing that Rapunzel understood as a 'snarfblatt'. The Genie kindly smiled at her, and handed her his pipe. "Uh, do you like it?" he asked, "It is a rather fine..." The Genie stopped in mid-sentence when the German girl blew into the pipe as if it was a trumpet, sending a cloud of smoke spurting out the top and straight into his face. Flynn cracked up with laughter while Jasmine gave a small giggle. "Oh, my!" she exclaimed. Flynn cleared his throat, trying to regain composure. "Ahem. I'm sorry, Genie." Jasmine smiled, placing a hand on the guy's shoulder. "Why, Eugene," she said. "That's the first time I've seen you smile in weeks." Rapunzel looked up from the table and smiled. "Oh, very amusing," said the Genie, as he used a handkerchief to wipe the last bit of smoke of his face and sniffed. "Jasmine, my dear, what's for dinner?" "Oooh, you're gonna love it!" Jasmine smiled. "Chef's been fixing his specialty, stuffed fox!" Honest John poked his head out from behind a sugar bowl and gasped upon seeing the chef of a French kitchen. He was a slender dog with light blue fur with a peach muzzle, a Southern accent, and a black nose and ears. He wears a white chef's hat, and a matching apron. His name was Huckleberry Hound, the French chef of the kitchen. Huckleberry rummaged through a cupboard. Singing in French to himself, he hummed to himself as he took a basket of trout and putting one on a counter. With his food ready, the dog chef started singing. Huckleberry: Les poissons Les poissons How I love '''les poissons' ''Love to chop And to serve little fish Grabbing the trout from the basket, Antoine pulled out a cleaver and violently chopped off its head. This shocked Honest John horribly. Horrified that this was happening, Honest John hid his face. Huckleberry: First I cut off their heads Then I pull out the bones Ah mais oui Ca c'est toujours delish Taking out another trout, Huckleberry took the cleaver and violently chopped off its head then proceeded to skin it and gut it while Honest John leaned against a wall and covered his mouth, feeling quite sick, feeling as if he may want to throw up. Huckleberry: Les poissons Les poissons Hee hee hee Hah hah hah With the cleaver I hack them in two Taking out another trout, Huckleberry again chopped its head and then chopped the rest of the body into tiny pieces. Honest John tried getting away, but he found himself face to face with the trout's head. Huckleberry: I pull out what's inside And I serve it up fried Cause I love little fishes'' Don't you? After cutting the trout's head off, Huckleberry pulled out the insides of the trout and cooked it on a frying pan before serving it on a plate. Spotting a large lettuce leaf, Honest John grabbed the leaf and used it to disguise himself as he slowly scuttled away from an unsuspecting chef, who is too absorbed into his little fish hacking mania but Huckleberry took a mallet and began smashing a tuna flat. Huckleberry: Here's something for tempting the palate Prepared in the classic technique First you pound the fish flat with a mallet When Huckleberry pounded the tuna flat with the mallet, Honest John flew off the counter along with other stuff on it. He hid again under the lettuce before hearing more gross stuff from Huckleberry's preparations for the tuna. Huckleberry: Then you slash through the skin Give the belly a slice Then you rub some salt in 'Cause that makes it taste nice When Huckleberry was describing those horrid moves, Honest John cringed even more. Just after Huckleberry put the salt on he rather was holding the fish body close to his cheek, Honest John worst fear was confirmed when the cook reached out and grabbed the lettuce leaf, leaving him exposed. The small gentleman fox kept perfectly still as the chef gasped, "Zut alors!" exclaimed Huckleberry, "I have missed one!" He picked up the 'dead' fox and continued singing, Huckleberry: ''Sacre bleu'' What is this? How on earth could I miss Such a sweet little succulent fox? ''Quel dommage'' What a loss Here we go In the sauce Now some flour I think just a spurt Huckleberry tossed Honest John into a bowl of sauce and threw a spot of flour in his face, making him cough and sneeze before pulling him out and stuffing some breadcrumbs in his mouth. Huckleberry: Now I stuff you with bread It don't hurt 'cause you're dead And you're certainly lucky you are Honest John spat out the breadcrumbs and wheezed loudly. Huckleberry didn't notice that the fox in his hand was still alive. Huckleberry: 'Cause it's gonna be hot In my big silver pot Toodle loo ''Mon poisson'' ''Au revoir!''' Huckleberry threw Honest John across the room into a large pot of boiling water. Honest John held on to the inside of the pot before a bubble popped, burning him out of the pot and onto the counter with a loud thud. Huckleberry, hearing the 'thud', looked over to it being confused. He used a pitchfork-like utensil and stabs on either side of the fox, picking up Honest John and carefully inspected it. "What is this?" he asked. Honest John bit Huckleberry's nose, making him scream in pain as he held his nose. Honest John landed on the handle of a pan on the stove. Huckleberry reached for the fox, but instead put his hand on the fiery hot stove. The chef screamed and blew on his hand as the pan fell onto his foot. Huckleberry grabbed his foot and cried in pain, before sending Honest John an angry glare, grabbing a bunch of knives and hurling them at the fox. Honest John, who ducked each knife, dove under the counter, and while the chef was looking under the counter, Honest John pushed the bowl of sauce off the counter. The bowl shattered on his head. Going more insane, Huckleberry lifted his cleaver and brought it down. But all he managed to chop up was the counter. He saw Honest John running rapidly for his life. Honest John screamed as he tried getting out. The cleaver landed right in front of him, stopping him from running that way. He quickly made a mad dash underneath Huckleberry and hid underneath a cabinet of glasses and pottery. Huckleberry screamed, holding his mallet in his hand, Honest John hid as the psychotic chef jumped and crashed into the shelves. Back in the dining room, everyone heard loud crashes coming from the kitchen. Jasmine, who was pouring drinks for the prince, the Genie, and their young guest, looked in the direction of the kitchen at the sound of a large crash. "I think I'd better go see what Huckleberry is up to." she said. Once she had excused herself, she hurriedly made her way to the palace kitchen. Back in the kitchen, the insane chef, ripped clothes and all, was tearing apart the cabinet, mindlessly throwing things out of the way trying to find Honest John. "Come out, you little pipsqueak, AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!" he snarled. He continued to tear apart a cupboard. "Huckleberry!" shouted Jasmine. He shot up, banging his head on the shelf, causing several new pots and pans to fall or break on the floor, at the sound of Jasmine's shrill voice. His apron was torn and stained, and his chef's hat was gone. "What are you doing?" Jasmine demanded. Huckleberry stammered about what he was doing earlier. "Well - I - I was just - er, er, I'm sorry, ''madame." he finally said. Jasmine scowled at the dog as he gave her an apologetic grin and pinched out a fire that had started on top of his head. Jasmine picked up the plates - which all had a metal dome over the top - off a nearby bench, and storming out the kitchen. "Well, I never!" she exclaimed in disgust. The Genie set his glass back on the table as Jasmine placed their dinners in front of him, Rapunzel, and Flynn. "You know, Eugene," he said. "perhaps our young guest might enjoy seeing some of the sights of the kingdom. Something in the way of a tour?" Flynn simply sat there, staring at Rapunzel with a lovestruck expression on his face. Realizing that the Genie had said something to them, they snapped out of their daze. Flynn let out a small chuckle and looked at the Genie. "I'm sorry, Genie." he said, "What was that?" The Genie leaned over to the guy and whispered, "You can't spend all your time moping about, you need to get out. Do something, have a life. Get your mind off-" As the Genie complained, he opened his dish, and Honest John was huddled inside. Rapunzel noticed Honest John and became worried. Honest John quietly shushed the worried German girl, who opened her dish and urged for Honest John to quickly hide in hers. "Easy, Genie, easy." said Flynn, "It's not a bad idea. If she's interested." As the two chatted, Honest John quickly and quietly dashed across the table and hid in Rapunzel's dish. With Honest John safe, Rapunzel quickly turned to Flynn. "Well, what do you say?" asked Flynn. "Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow?" Rapunzel nodded, genuinely excited by the prospect and also internally relieved. "Wonderful!" beamed the Genie. "Now let's eat, before this fox wanders off my plate." He looked down, only to be confused that Honest John had just run off his plate. Dinner got carried on into the evening long after the sun had set and afterwards, Rapunzel, Flynn, and the Genie went their separate ways. Rapunzel was now dressed in her nightclothes as she watched Flynn play with Maximus from the balcony. Rapunzel was now wearing a lavender nightgown. "Come here boy!" Flynn laughed to Maximus, "Arrr!!!" He knelt on the ground and Maximus ran up to him neighing. Flynn growled playfully at the white horse as he pinned him down. He looked up and smiled when he saw that the German girl he'd found on the beach that day, watching. Flynn waved at Rapunzel, and she waved back, before slipping further back into her room. Flynn's eyes sparkled as his smile widened. He was actually really looking forward to taking her around his kingdom tomorrow, and could only hope that she felt the same way. Rapunzel smiled as she brushed her hair with her fork. Honest John (now wearing a blue undershirt and green boxer shorts) complained about his experience in the kitchen as he cleaned off the cooking spices. "This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day of my life." he complained. Rapunzel patted Honest John on the head. "I hope you appreciate what I go through for you, young lady!" scolded the fox, as he waved his lettuce leaf at Rapunzel while she walked over to her bed. Rapunzel's bed was a large canopy bed with baby pink mattresses & matching bedsheets & pillows, large lavender curtains (with golden draw-tassels) on all four sides (attached to the lavender canopy), purple blankets, white linens, a warm, fuzzy purple blanket, & lavender mahogany bedposts (with a headboard of the same color & material). Anyway, Honest John told Rapunzel, "Now, we've got to make a plan to get that guy to kiss you." She opened the curtains and bounced a little before settling back into the large pillow on the left side of the canopy bed and crawled under the covers. "Tomorrow, when he takes you for that ride, you gotta look your best." said Honest John. Rapunzel lay in her bed. It was very comfy and warm. It was a nice place for her to sleep for the night. "You're gonna bat your eyes - like this," Honest John went on, as he batted his eyes and puckered his lips. "You gotta pucker up your lips - like this." But by now, he realized that Rapunzel was already fast asleep. Honest John shook his head and smiled. "Hm." He blew out the candle on the bed side table. He hopped onto one of Rapunzel's pillows, closed the curtains, and before falling asleep himself, he said, "You are hopeless, child. You know that?" He yawned and closed his eyes as Rapunzel covered him up with her purple blanket. "Completely hopeless!" And with that, Rapunzel and Honest John both fell asleep for the night. Category:Fan Fiction Category:Songs Category:Hero/Heroine Songs Category:The Little Mermaid Fanfiction Category:The Little Mermaid Fanmakes Category:The Little Mermaid Movie Spoofs Category:The Little Mermaid Movies Category:The Little Mermaid Parodies Category:The Little Mermaid Spoofs